You are 7 months and 11 days old.
Right now, I'm sitting in a real estate class with a slight headache and stuffy nose wishing I was home by you and daddy. I'm in the process of starting a new career, and let me tell you...I feel stupid. I'm not actually stupid (most days), but having to start from the bottom again highlights my flaws in all angles. There's so much to learn and so much opportunity; I'm excited for what this can bring to our family.
But Baby-Joey, it's a hike with a hundred-lb pack and terrible shoes...
one foot in front of the other...
fight, grind, repeat...
just keep running...
fail until you don't...
the pain of trying is nothing compared to the pain of regret.
Providing for you has given me a purpose. Spending days with your smile (and cries) has given me joy. Having you has given me courage. I will keep fighting for you, your dad, and me. I will keep fighting for the brothers and sisters your dad and I want to give you.
When starting a new job there's always a period of stupid that lasts between two weeks and two months. Working at Target, I mastered the Deli department in two weeks. Organizing the fryer schedule for maximum efficiency is my Wimbledon title. Teaching high school English, two months was about when I felt like I wasn't pretending anymore. I felt like a master teacher after developing a unit where students rewrote "The Lottery" by changing two literary elements of the story. Their inventive, crazy, and moving versions of the classic filled my heart with pride.
So, I will continue to listen, read, learn, and sometimes struggle to master this real estate world. I'm sure there will be victories to celebrate, paper-cuts to bandage, and trenches to climb over. No matter what, you and I will always have a standing date for dance parties, tummy time screams, and sharing a peanut butter bagel.
My hope for you: Be brave enough to feel stupid.
