What we've learned as parents so far...(15 days in)

Bonus Entry

What we've learned as parents so far...(15 days in)

1. Our baby is better than your baby.

2. People will always assume Joey is a boy based on her name. 

3. Babies are manipulative creatures who use their cries and cute faces to get access to boobs.

4. Babies like boobs.

5. Our baby prefers the right boob.

6. To keep a baby content you need three things: the ability to bounce them, the ability to feed them, and the NASCAR pit crew speed to change a diaper and onesie in record time.

7. Dried-up umbilical cords are gross.

8. We will change diapers, forget to wash our hands, and eat chips right after.

9. There will be 100 outfits in the dresser and closet for the baby to wear, but we will use the same three sleepers week after week because Steve Jobs is our inspiration for fashion and time saving tactics.

10. Milk drunk is a real thing, and it is adorable when it's your baby.

11. Not all babies want to be swaddled. Our baby is a ninja and needs access to full movement 24/7.

12. The world stops when the baby makes a sound while sleeping...is she waking up? Should I hold my breath so I don't disturb her? I don't need to breathe. Keep sleeping...if you love mommy at all, keep sleeping!

13. As soon as you have a baby, there is nothing else you really want to talk about. 

14. Diaper bags are bottomless pits for blankets, trash, doggy poop pouches, snacks, and pacifiers. I never carry a purse, so this is my status symbol of female empowerment. My diaper bag says, "I have a uterus, and I am awesome."

15. We will never be more proud of our child than when we hear her do three explosive poops in a completely silent room. 

Labor and Delivery at 39 Weeks

Well...Our baby is here!

Joey was born on March 8th (Thursday) by c-section due to her being breech. Here is the play-by-play.

6:15AM - 7:15AM: I'm driving to work and notice that about every five-six minutes I'm having light contractions that last about a minute. I call Billy and tell him to make sure his phone is on and by him all day. There is no way I'm going to turn the car around and go home, because this is the FIRST DAY my long-term sub is at the school, so I have to train her. Our planned c-section was going to be on Monday, March 12 at 3:30PM. Apparently, our little Joey didn't want to wait through the weekend. The contractions continue, but they aren't painful so I keep driving. Billy asks whether he should pack the car with our hospital bags; thankfully he didn't listen to me and ended up bringing most of our stuff. I love him!

7:15AM - 8:00AM: Calling Billy to update him on my contractions, attempting to time them on my phone, hand home-made chocolate chip cookies to a coworker for his birthday, and breathe through the increasingly painful contractions as they travel through my gut and uterus. Ouch. Throughout this time I have my sub following me around, and I attempt to crash-course train her on how to educate the youth of America. Forty-five minutes is enough for that, right?

8:00AM - 9:08AM: Last day with my class and attempting to not show that anything is happening with 25 pairs of eyes on me. Good thing I planned a half movie day!

9:08AM - 9:40AM: Several teachers/staff stop by my room to tell me to LEAVE AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL! What? Contractions four minutes apart and painful enough to stop me while I'm talking? Eh, I'm not weak. More training for my sub, send in a scholarship recommendation for a student, talk to some students...OKAY, I'M LEAVING!

9:40AM - 11:00AM: Call/text Billy to say I'm heading to the hospital. He's in class, so he has to get up and leave without saying a word to anyone as to why. We talk almost the entire drive and meet in the parking garage. I'm still in pain, but his excitement raises my spirits and quiets the doubt of whether or not we're in actual labor.

11:00AM - 12:00PM: While writhing in pain from contractions, the nurses and doctors talk about waiting for a few hours to see if my labor progresses enough to deliver today. Billy goes down to the car to grab his computer, and during that short time the doctors decide WE'RE HAVING A BABY TODAY! And like...right now! By the time Billy arrives back in the room, I'm hooked up to an IV and getting wiped down with alcohol towelettes. What a difference ten minutes can make. I'm getting more scared as time moves past, but Billy holds my hand and talks to me about random things to get my mind off the coming surgery. "I'm not ready to be a mom," I keep saying. He would kiss my forehead and say, "Yes you are." Dressed in my beautiful hospital gown we walk down the hall, around the corner, and kiss goodbye/see-you-later while he goes to get dressed in scrubs and I go to get my spine stabbed.

12:00PM - 1:15PM: Surgery rooms are smaller than on Grey's Anatomy. The nurses and surgeons are all working to keep me happy while they move around the room like a coordinated dance. Within minutes I'm curled over and being stabbed in my back by the anesthesiologist. "Did you know your spine curves to the right?" Huh...not my top concern right now, Doc. How about you just focus on not paralyzing me? The drugs are working and soon enough the blue curtain goes up, and I was laying open for all to see. Modesty? Nope, lost that when the sweet sweet numbness kicked in. When Billy finally joins us in the delivery room, my heart is full. He sits behind me, holds my hand, and we talk about his job. There is no pain, only some pulling and pushing from behind the magic curtain. Our sweet little Joey did not want to come out. It takes three huge tugs before we hear, "She's pooping!" and our baby joins the world. The doctor lifts her above the curtain and I think...eww. She's dirty. Thankfully, the nurses take on the job of wiping the crap, blood, and who-knows-what-else off of her before handing her over. Billy and I are joined by baby Joey shortly after, and our family is complete. I was still cut open, but we just pretend not to notice while the stitches are being sewed in.

So...that's about all I care to share for now. We love you, Joey!

38 Weeks

How far along? 38 weeks
Baby is the size of a pumpkin (a smaller pumpkin)
Total weight gain: 24 pounds!
Maternity clothes: Still wearing my maternity pants and Billy's shirts. I also stole one of my dad's t-shirts, and I don't plan on ever returning it. To quote Demi Lovato... "I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)."
Stretch marks: Nope.
Sleep: I get up every hour and sometimes lay awake for over an hour around 3AM. This does give me time to hear Billy call football snaps in his sleep.
Miss anything? Baby girl's head is poking my left side by my ribs. I miss the feeling of not having it there, because I bump it and worry I'm giving her brain damage.
Best moment this week: Getting the other car seat base installed, taking belly pictures with Billy, and eating spaghetti together while watching The Office.

Movement: Her feet are kicking me in the low spots, her head is jamming on my rib cage, and I'm pretty sure she's trying to claw her way through my skin with her hands.
Food cravings: Macaroni and cheese, the traditional kind.
Food aversions: Nope, but I'm not as hungry as I was in the second trimester.
Gender: We're having a baby girl! If the ultrasound was read incorrectly, we have a backup boy name ready to go.
Labor signs: None.
Pregnancy symptoms: Just look at me. I'm a walking symptom.
Emotional state: We are down to 10 days and less than two hours until our c-section. Excited! Scared! Anything and everything right about now is how I'm feeling. Actually, I'm hungry.
Looking forward to:  The weekend, watching a movie with Billy, finishing up this trimester of school, and the nicer weather we've been having.