What we've learned as parents so far...(15 days in)

Bonus Entry

What we've learned as parents so far...(15 days in)

1. Our baby is better than your baby.

2. People will always assume Joey is a boy based on her name. 

3. Babies are manipulative creatures who use their cries and cute faces to get access to boobs.

4. Babies like boobs.

5. Our baby prefers the right boob.

6. To keep a baby content you need three things: the ability to bounce them, the ability to feed them, and the NASCAR pit crew speed to change a diaper and onesie in record time.

7. Dried-up umbilical cords are gross.

8. We will change diapers, forget to wash our hands, and eat chips right after.

9. There will be 100 outfits in the dresser and closet for the baby to wear, but we will use the same three sleepers week after week because Steve Jobs is our inspiration for fashion and time saving tactics.

10. Milk drunk is a real thing, and it is adorable when it's your baby.

11. Not all babies want to be swaddled. Our baby is a ninja and needs access to full movement 24/7.

12. The world stops when the baby makes a sound while sleeping...is she waking up? Should I hold my breath so I don't disturb her? I don't need to breathe. Keep sleeping...if you love mommy at all, keep sleeping!

13. As soon as you have a baby, there is nothing else you really want to talk about. 

14. Diaper bags are bottomless pits for blankets, trash, doggy poop pouches, snacks, and pacifiers. I never carry a purse, so this is my status symbol of female empowerment. My diaper bag says, "I have a uterus, and I am awesome."

15. We will never be more proud of our child than when we hear her do three explosive poops in a completely silent room. 

Labor and Delivery at 39 Weeks

Well...Our baby is here!

Joey was born on March 8th (Thursday) by c-section due to her being breech. Here is the play-by-play.

6:15AM - 7:15AM: I'm driving to work and notice that about every five-six minutes I'm having light contractions that last about a minute. I call Billy and tell him to make sure his phone is on and by him all day. There is no way I'm going to turn the car around and go home, because this is the FIRST DAY my long-term sub is at the school, so I have to train her. Our planned c-section was going to be on Monday, March 12 at 3:30PM. Apparently, our little Joey didn't want to wait through the weekend. The contractions continue, but they aren't painful so I keep driving. Billy asks whether he should pack the car with our hospital bags; thankfully he didn't listen to me and ended up bringing most of our stuff. I love him!

7:15AM - 8:00AM: Calling Billy to update him on my contractions, attempting to time them on my phone, hand home-made chocolate chip cookies to a coworker for his birthday, and breathe through the increasingly painful contractions as they travel through my gut and uterus. Ouch. Throughout this time I have my sub following me around, and I attempt to crash-course train her on how to educate the youth of America. Forty-five minutes is enough for that, right?

8:00AM - 9:08AM: Last day with my class and attempting to not show that anything is happening with 25 pairs of eyes on me. Good thing I planned a half movie day!

9:08AM - 9:40AM: Several teachers/staff stop by my room to tell me to LEAVE AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL! What? Contractions four minutes apart and painful enough to stop me while I'm talking? Eh, I'm not weak. More training for my sub, send in a scholarship recommendation for a student, talk to some students...OKAY, I'M LEAVING!

9:40AM - 11:00AM: Call/text Billy to say I'm heading to the hospital. He's in class, so he has to get up and leave without saying a word to anyone as to why. We talk almost the entire drive and meet in the parking garage. I'm still in pain, but his excitement raises my spirits and quiets the doubt of whether or not we're in actual labor.

11:00AM - 12:00PM: While writhing in pain from contractions, the nurses and doctors talk about waiting for a few hours to see if my labor progresses enough to deliver today. Billy goes down to the car to grab his computer, and during that short time the doctors decide WE'RE HAVING A BABY TODAY! And like...right now! By the time Billy arrives back in the room, I'm hooked up to an IV and getting wiped down with alcohol towelettes. What a difference ten minutes can make. I'm getting more scared as time moves past, but Billy holds my hand and talks to me about random things to get my mind off the coming surgery. "I'm not ready to be a mom," I keep saying. He would kiss my forehead and say, "Yes you are." Dressed in my beautiful hospital gown we walk down the hall, around the corner, and kiss goodbye/see-you-later while he goes to get dressed in scrubs and I go to get my spine stabbed.

12:00PM - 1:15PM: Surgery rooms are smaller than on Grey's Anatomy. The nurses and surgeons are all working to keep me happy while they move around the room like a coordinated dance. Within minutes I'm curled over and being stabbed in my back by the anesthesiologist. "Did you know your spine curves to the right?" Huh...not my top concern right now, Doc. How about you just focus on not paralyzing me? The drugs are working and soon enough the blue curtain goes up, and I was laying open for all to see. Modesty? Nope, lost that when the sweet sweet numbness kicked in. When Billy finally joins us in the delivery room, my heart is full. He sits behind me, holds my hand, and we talk about his job. There is no pain, only some pulling and pushing from behind the magic curtain. Our sweet little Joey did not want to come out. It takes three huge tugs before we hear, "She's pooping!" and our baby joins the world. The doctor lifts her above the curtain and I think...eww. She's dirty. Thankfully, the nurses take on the job of wiping the crap, blood, and who-knows-what-else off of her before handing her over. Billy and I are joined by baby Joey shortly after, and our family is complete. I was still cut open, but we just pretend not to notice while the stitches are being sewed in.

So...that's about all I care to share for now. We love you, Joey!

38 Weeks

How far along? 38 weeks
Baby is the size of a pumpkin (a smaller pumpkin)
Total weight gain: 24 pounds!
Maternity clothes: Still wearing my maternity pants and Billy's shirts. I also stole one of my dad's t-shirts, and I don't plan on ever returning it. To quote Demi Lovato... "I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)."
Stretch marks: Nope.
Sleep: I get up every hour and sometimes lay awake for over an hour around 3AM. This does give me time to hear Billy call football snaps in his sleep.
Miss anything? Baby girl's head is poking my left side by my ribs. I miss the feeling of not having it there, because I bump it and worry I'm giving her brain damage.
Best moment this week: Getting the other car seat base installed, taking belly pictures with Billy, and eating spaghetti together while watching The Office.

Movement: Her feet are kicking me in the low spots, her head is jamming on my rib cage, and I'm pretty sure she's trying to claw her way through my skin with her hands.
Food cravings: Macaroni and cheese, the traditional kind.
Food aversions: Nope, but I'm not as hungry as I was in the second trimester.
Gender: We're having a baby girl! If the ultrasound was read incorrectly, we have a backup boy name ready to go.
Labor signs: None.
Pregnancy symptoms: Just look at me. I'm a walking symptom.
Emotional state: We are down to 10 days and less than two hours until our c-section. Excited! Scared! Anything and everything right about now is how I'm feeling. Actually, I'm hungry.
Looking forward to:  The weekend, watching a movie with Billy, finishing up this trimester of school, and the nicer weather we've been having.

35 Weeks

How far along? 35 weeks
Baby is the size of a large coconut!

Hey baby girl,

Instead of doing the typical weekly update, your dad and I thought you might enjoy a snapshot of what a typical day in our lives looks like right now. Before reading that, take a glance at the sweet picture of the three of us (four if you include Gracie) from our baby shower on Saturday! Your grandmas put together a kick-butt party for 35 of our family and friends, despite the threat of a snowstorm. I ate too many taco rolls and opened gifts for at least an hour while guests competed for prizes in Bingo and a memory game. We are still in awe of how generous people are! Seriously, you have a wardrobe fit for a princess, and we have all the gear we need to make it look like we know what we're doing.

A Typical Day for Our Family

1. Your dad's alarm goes off at 5:40AM, but he doesn't hear it, so I wake him up.

2. As he goes downstairs to work out, I count the seconds of comfort I have left until my first alarm goes off at 5:45AM and second at 5:50AM. Amos and Olive know that my alarm means they will get breakfast soon, so they stand on the bed and glare at me (sometimes attacking my face) until I get up.

3. Your dad and I get ready for the day, the dogs make a couple of trips outside, and I am out of the door by 6:20AM to drive to school. Your dad leaves at different times depending on his class/work schedule.

4. Your dad has two jobs and a full class schedule in Madison, while I attempt teaching English to half-asleep and fully distracted high school students from 8AM to 3:25PM five days a week. My days are brighter when I see an email from Billy with an article link, a sweet message, or a random question. 

5. I'm usually driving home by 3:40PM with Olive and Amos waiting by the back house door. I make something to eat, settle in on the couch with Netflix and the dogs, and relax while waiting for your dad to come home. It's a fun night when we are all home for dinner, but your dad's amazing work ethic keeps him in Madison late some nights. He is Superman, and I love him for all that he is doing to create a successful future and happy life for our family. 

6. Finally, we tuck-in for the night before 10PM and get ready to take on another day after some sleep. 

What Baby Girl's Typical Day Looks Like...

1. Wake mom up around 3-4AM to practice karate kicks against her ribs. Make her question whether or not she has to pee again...no, OMG yes, oh-it's gone again, AHH! Run to the bathroom!

2. If mom doesn't eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking up, remind her by making her feel nauseous.

3. Sleep for the next two hours...it's been a busy morning.

4. Mom's teaching? This is the perfect time for some hiccups and heartburn.

5. Yummy lunch! Now I must spend the next hour stretching mom's already massive baby bump by doing gymnastics. Must make it look like an alien is trying to escape...must freak out her students. Whoops! Muscle pain (or lightning bolt) down mom's side. Distract her with another dose of heartburn! Fireball! Fireball!

6. Nap time.

7. Gotta make the drive home more entertaining with some yoga. Look, mom! I'm touching the steering wheel with my elbow! Hey, you should probably go to the bathroom soon. Let me kick your bladder a couple of times so you understand the message. 

8. Sleep.

9. If Amos is laying on mom's lap, he must be repeatedly kicked. Otherwise, more Zzzzzzz!

10. Huh, mom and dad are trying to sleep...everything is so calm and still...MOSH PIT TIME!  

Bonus entry: A father's perspective

The following pregnancy post was composed by my love and baby-daddy, Billy. I hope you enjoy his take on our pregnancy as much as I did! 

How far along?

How far along with what? Oh, you're talking about the baby. If my memory serves me correctly we have exactly 46 days, 4 hours, 36 minutes, and 36 seconds until the due date.

Total weight gain:

My total weight gain during Sara's pregnancy is ever changing. On days that we are low on food I'm about 10 pounds heavier, but when Sara makes her potato soup, I'm about 15 pounds heavier.  

Maternity clothes: 

Nope, that's outside the budget.

Sleep: Yes, I sleep pretty well...except when Sara wakes me up screaming that she has a cramp and I jump up and start rubbing her hamstring, but then she yells "my calf". But other than that I sleep well.

Miss anything: 

I miss Sara being comfortable. 

Best moment this week:

My last semester of college started this week. Can't believe how fast it has gone.

Movement: 

I try to move at least once a day but that's about it. Oh you mean the baby! Sara says she moves all the time; I get to see it every once in a while and even feel her punch Sara in the stomach.

Gender:  

The lady at our gender appointment said girl so she must be a girl because doctors are never wrong!

Pregnancy symptoms: 

I have heart burn after I eat about 1 - 2 pounds worth of food at one sitting. Not sure if that's a symptom or me just overeating. 

Emotional state: 

Excited to enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy with Sara.

Nervous about:  

Holding my daughter for the first time, changing diapers, and if she will like me.

Looking forward to:

Meeting our baby in person and Sara holding her for the first time.

Anything you'd like to say to the baby: 

Daddy will always be there for you, forever.

33 Weeks

How far along? 33 weeks
Baby is the size of a durian! What in the hell is a durian?
Total weight gain: 20 pounds!
Maternity clothes: I am currently raiding Billy's side of the closet for his larger t-shirts and sweatshirts. I may never give them back.
Stretch marks: Nope.
Sleep: Depends on the night...sometimes I sleep really well, and sometimes I get up to pee five times and contemplate life's purpose for a good 30 minutes.
Miss anything? We have officially entered the zone of, "Billy, can you tie my shoe for me?" Small things like that have become a test of wills, as I must choose between breathing or asking for help.
Best moment this week: Playing Dominoes with Billy, mom, and dad and laughing so hard I peed myself. That actually would have happened without laughing.

Movement: She is twisting and turning every day! Especially in the middle of the night. We can feel her foot (or knee, or elbow, or other unidentifiable appendage) on my left side when she pushes against me.
Food cravings: Macaroni and cheese, the traditional kind.
Food aversions: Nope, but I'm not as hungry as I was in the second trimester.
Gender: We're having a baby girl! If the ultrasound was read incorrectly, we have a backup boy name ready to go.
Labor signs: None.
Pregnancy symptoms: The heartburn was terrible last week, but mostly gone now. Back is sore, but otherwise I'm trucking along with just a waddle in my step.
Emotional state: Excited to be counting down the last seven weeks! Some days drag on and on, but we are finally getting to the finish line. I keep randomly remembering we're going to be taking care of a human life at the end of this...uhhh, shouldn't we have to pass a test first? Who approved this? I want names!
Looking forward to:  A night of watching comedy shows, relaxing with our dogs, and getting blinds installed on all of the house windows.

31 Weeks

How far along? 31 weeks
Baby is the size of a small pineapple!

Monday, after I dropped a mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cup on the floor (still in its wrapper) I faced an important life decision.

Do I risk severe injury from the weight of bending over to pick up the sad-looking treat? Or, do I consider it an act of fate and kiss the chocolate-peanut buttery goodness goodbye forever?

Of course I picked up the darn PB cup and enjoyed it as my reward for being brave in a moment of overwhelming unknown. It was delicious. And yes, I left my pride down on the floor in its place.

Other, slightly less dramatic, decisions Billy and I are facing carry more importance than whether or not to eat chocolate. We have had to decide on a name for our baby girl, talk about our parenting philosophies, discuss future career and home plans, choose between the green or pink hooded bath  towel, and think about how to raise a strong and curious daughter in a world we hardly understand. Instead of relying just on our two minds, I've reached out to our immediate families for their input asking the following questions:

1. What advice would you give to a young girl growing up in our society?
2. If there is one song you want to pass down to baby girl Boutelle, what would it be?

So, baby girl...one day we will share this post with you. A post where the people who love you the most took time to share some wisdom and music. Here you go:

"Be compassionate and humane to those in need. Remember, you may think you have it bad, but there is always someone who has it worse."

"Experience real life - unplug and put down the electronic devices. Go outside and interact with those around you without distractions or filters. Hopefully by the time you are of age to read this, there will no longer be a 'glass ceiling'. If it still applies, break it. Never stop learning, push yourself outside of your comfort zone, embrace failures, say yes more often, and try new things. Laugh often - find a partner with a great sense of humor."

"Never give up on your dreams. You can be anything and everything you want to be, and do not let anyone tell you any different for you are so very special."

"Be confident but humble."

"Show empathy. Stay true to your core beliefs - stubbornness is not always a negative quality. However, be willing to listen to those with different views/opinions, and don't be quick to judge others for their choices. When difficult times arise remember that you control how you react to it. Choose joy. Lastly, asking for help is never a weakness."

"Ask your grandparents about the 'good old days'."

"Focus on the things you can control. You will get opportunities to enjoy life and you shouldn't let the things you can't control impact your performance."

"It's important to pick good friends, and stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Don't let anyone push you around...there will always be bullies, just don't become one. Listen to your mom and dad; you may think they're only there to embarrass you and ruin your life, but in the end they're family and they love you more than you'll ever know."

"Life is short...eat your dessert first." 

"Be thankful for all that you have. Regularly express your appreciation and love for those closest to you. Treasure and trust the love of your family. Lean on them when you need them, and be there for them as well"